Wednesday

ITEM NO.27 ON THE LIST

I've just been invited to a wedding. I want to tell you their names, give you their mobile numbers and their email addresses, but I can't, because I don't have many friends.

Like all weddings, this one came with a list. Like most wedding lists it revealed how fucking greedy people can be.

This couple are doing all right, they'd have been called yuppies in a previous decade. And yet, despite living together for a few good years now have still managed to put together a list of stuff you would not believe. Stuff like a fish kettle. (If you don't know what one of these are, that's one up there in the picture.)

And to make it worse, this couple reheat, defrost, order-in or go-out. What they don't do is cook. But seeing as they're not paying, and seeing as they have everything they could want they stick a fish kettle on their wedding list, because, and only because, they don't have one. Well, YOU PISSED ME OFF, YOU GREEDY BASTARDS.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah Thats greedy but from the brides point of view, people have been asking to crash at mine, the night of MY BLOODY Wedding. I have 3 children and although they wont be around it pisses me off! Also my Sister and her waste of space boyf can't afford a travel lodge, so guess who's paying 4 that! So instead of aking 4 a new toaster I'm asking people not to bloody come!!! Wankers!

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Oswin said...

Perhaps, just perhaps, the happy couple want to learn how to cook proper meals for a change?