I've just been invited to a wedding. I want to tell you their names, give you their mobile numbers and their email addresses, but I can't, because I don't have many friends.

Like all weddings, this one came with a list. Like most wedding lists it revealed how fucking greedy people can be.

This couple are doing all right, they'd have been called yuppies in a previous decade. And yet, despite living together for a few good years now have still managed to put together a list of stuff you would not believe. Stuff like a fish kettle. (If you don't know what one of these are, that's one up there in the picture.)

And to make it worse, this couple reheat, defrost, order-in or go-out. What they don't do is cook. But seeing as they're not paying, and seeing as they have everything they could want they stick a fish kettle on their wedding list, because, and only because, they don't have one. Well, YOU PISSED ME OFF, YOU GREEDY BASTARDS.


Anonymous said...

Yeah Thats greedy but from the brides point of view, people have been asking to crash at mine, the night of MY BLOODY Wedding. I have 3 children and although they wont be around it pisses me off! Also my Sister and her waste of space boyf can't afford a travel lodge, so guess who's paying 4 that! So instead of aking 4 a new toaster I'm asking people not to bloody come!!! Wankers!

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Oswin said...

Perhaps, just perhaps, the happy couple want to learn how to cook proper meals for a change?