Wednesday

tell me something I don't know

Is it just me? Well, maybe, but considering the votes of confidence and the number of hits I get, it would suggest not, so I'm going to share this with you.

This pisses me off

And this


And this
Have you spotted it yet?

No, it's not kids, I got one of them myself and I love him to bits, he's one of the very good bits in my life. No, the thing that pisses me off are that fact card manufacturers think it's okay to write the fucking obvious on the front of new arrival cards.

If you haven't had a baby, let you talk you though it. It takes 9 months slow progress during which time you do a lot of talking and thinking about what's going to come into your life. You get to see pictures of a growing foetus, you get asked if you want to know the sex. But even if you didn't want to know right then, during the birth you get to find out. Then, after a bit of a rest you get to tell everyone you know that you'd had a baby ....... And then those very same people send you cards and all they can find to send you are these stupid cards that tell you what you've had.

Congratulations, It's a boy/girl/twins

I know it's a boy! I was fucking there! I fucking told you three days ago. I don't need a card telling me what I already know. I'm tired but I'm not fucking stupid.

You don't print condolence cards that say, She's Dead, do you?

So card-makers, think before you create your next range of new arrivals cards. It's your laziness that REALLY PISSES ME OFF, YOU BASTARDS.





20 comments:

The Hoe said...

ha ha... great !

ngthatsme said...

hahah love it! keep 'em coming.

Wisey said...

oooh, do I love your blog...

A kindred spirit methinks.

Anonymous said...

I read this, and then my nephew was born. My wife had a go at me for suggesting a "congratulations" card, instead of an "it's a boy" card. And then even more so when i said to my sister, "The card is incase you couldn't figure it out" :D

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!

Yeah it's true, there's too many "pointing out the obvious" cards about and "It's a boy!" is something the mum and the dad are going to know WAY before anybody can buy a card.

So, yes, well put!

Anonymous said...

Lol! I like the idea of condolence cards having: 'She's dead?' Lol!!!

Kaavya said...

I only time the obvious cards helped me was, when I had to re-locate & had to dispose silly ones! Not much of a time wasted coz the cover said it all :)

Juz awesome blog!!

Anonymous said...

Can't believe how true this is! Classic mate, quality!

Leila said...

I like your blog it makes me laugh.

I wonder what would be a better thing to say on a card for a new arrival.

Anonymous said...

In the centre of the first picture the overuse of bright scarlet red in the Hogan
is linked with the hogan donna
Interactive in silver snake-print. Apparently Hogan scarpe uomo
had extra spikes put in his Hogan uomo
for extra grip.

Anonymous said...

LOL! This made my night!

Joooools said...

That is just so spot on. Closely followed by the morons with "Baby on board" stickers in their car back windows.

H said...

OMG!!! I loooooooooove you blog!!!!! I reallyy love it!

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Anonymous said...

it doesn't take much to piss you off does it

Anonymous said...

I'm more pissed off with how our country's capital has become overrun by foreigners but that is nothing compared to baby cards....

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Anonymous said...

You really are stupid.... It is an announcement card, dumbshit. The new parents purchase this to send to friends and relatives! NO WHERE do these cards say, "Congratulations"!

I can see why you wake up happy... you are so oblivious to the world! If these things piss you off then you really do need a dose of reality!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous speaks for itself.
Person from Mars.

Anonymous said...

You really shouldn't have kids. Good thing you're not really a parent and just some nerd trying to be funny on the internet.