Tuesday

MASTER CRIMINAL AT WORK

These here are the wheels of my bike. Front and back. And if you look carefully you'll no doubt notice they're sans dust caps. That's because some toe-rag, hoodie type with dreams of being a master criminal took it upon himself to steal them.

And the really pathetic bit, the bit that makes me pity him for the life he'll live and waste, is, if you go into pretty much any bike shop they'll just give you a couple free. You don't need to steal them, you arse, you didn't have to PISS ME OFF YOU CHAVVY BASTARD.

24 comments:

Tim Jackson- Masi Guy said...

I feel your pain my friend. I've had my valve caps stolen, bar plugs stolen, tos straps stolen... you name it.

Sadly- there really are bastards out there, living and breathing among us.

Thinks Heyz said...

I've had my front wheel stolen, the seat stolen, the tring-tring bells stolen

Rebecca said...

My dear angry man,
If you can go to any bike store and get them free, why, oh why, are you whining like alittle girl. Get off your arse and go get free dustcaps. Maybe pick up a second pair just incase?

For that reason, and that reason alone, YOU PISSED ME OFF, YOU WHINEY LITTLE BASTARD.

Apart from that, if you were not the age of my dad or older, I would have to make sweet, sweet love to you and insist on marriage before I got pregnant. This is because you are everything I love about humanity in one person. Anger + hate = one purely comical rant :)

AngryMan said...

rebecca, lets make sweet, sweet love anyway - maybe I could post about it too.

Anonymous said...

All this sweet love bollocks - angry man you are suddenly very dull.

Rebecca said...

Angry man,
What you just did is commonly known as internet grooming and will not be tollerated.
I am, after all, only seventeen.
I know I know, my command over the english language and skill with continuous prose is deceptive.
Now I am willing to make allowances for your previous comment as you did not know my age at that point, however, now you do.
Yours, Rebecca :)
I know I know, my command over the english language and skill with continuous prose is deceptive.

Rebecca said...

clearly the my editing skills are not quite up to par:

Angry man,
What you just did is commonly known as internet grooming and will not be tollerated.
I am, after all, only seventeen.
I know I know, my command over the english language and skill with continuous prose is deceptive.
Now I am willing to make allowances for your previous comment as you did not know my age at that point, however, now you do.
Yours, Rebecca :)

There.

Oh also, while I'm here, are you trying to imply that our hypothetically sweet love making would cause you to write a blog stating I pissed you off and that I am a bastard?

Offence is most certainly taken

Scot said...

What's really funny is the plastic presta valve caps are installed to protect the tube from being punctured by the tip of the valve.
They do nothing while on the bike.

John said...

Rebecca, I would love to steal your valve caps. Fuck that whiny little prick, let's get outta here and get down and dirty.

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