I could fill this whole blog with the crap that comes through my door, but I just save the really great oneS. Like this, from those wonderful people at Daker Estates - no I've never heard of them either. But it probably won't surprise you to know they are quality estate agents. Not just any old estate agents, you understand. Quality, this lot. Personally I'd have gone for idiotic, dim-witted arses of estate agents, but each to their own.

What were they thinking with this? I'll have a stab at guessing.

Print a letter with SPECIAL DELIVERY on it. In RED. Because red is really impressive and totally un-ignorable. And if that isn't enough lets add, EXCITING NEWS INSIDE, that will get people tearing the envelope open with rabid intensity.

And when they do, what will they find? Next weeks lottery numbers? The fact that World Peace has broken out? A break though in curing AIDS? To be honest, I'd have even accepted, Mr and Mrs Daker are expecting a baby - at least that would have been exciting, if only to them.

No, you get this.

So what was so exciting? That required it's own envelope and my undivided attention?

The offer of a FREE Market Appraisal! (Their font and punctuation, I hasten to add.)



New York Punk said...

That picture gives me the creeps. What is she doing? Sleeping with the real estate agent? He sure looks the part.

angryman said...

you are so right. i hadn't really looked at the photo, but it is fucking creepy

Dean Harvey said...

I fucking love this blog - it's the voice of the nation...rant on.

Anonymous said...

All estate agents in London are theiving little wankers, I used to work for the largest chain in London and from the things I saw in offices happening, there is some advice I can give :-

1. Make sure they are regulated NAEA only, ARLA is too weak
2. Scan and Scan again their contract
3. Know your rights!…
4. Avoid one band/office agents go with the larger networks franchised ones
even better.

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Anonymous said...


I enjoy your writing style and how it is in the form of a rant. It gives your blog and open and honest feel, and a chance for the reader to really look at your thoughts specifically. I liked this post especially, since it is very relatable. I also liked how you kept a little bit of suspense by not telling the reader right away what was in the envelope, but guessing with them. Overall, I find that your blog has some recognizable ideas that you bring to the reader in an effective and funny way. I also like your about page that shows how you are just one of us, and that I might even have seen you before.

Anonymous said...

You sir, are a hero.

Anonymous said...

You should get the free appraise al tell them your thinking of selling then block their number


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Anonymous said...

They seem like fucking cunts to me!

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