EXCITING NEWS MY ARSE
I could fill this whole blog with the crap that comes through my door, but I just save the really great oneS. Like this, from those wonderful people at Daker Estates - no I've never heard of them either. But it probably won't surprise you to know they are quality estate agents. Not just any old estate agents, you understand. Quality, this lot. Personally I'd have gone for idiotic, dim-witted arses of estate agents, but each to their own.
What were they thinking with this? I'll have a stab at guessing.
Print a letter with SPECIAL DELIVERY on it. In RED. Because red is really impressive and totally un-ignorable. And if that isn't enough lets add, EXCITING NEWS INSIDE, that will get people tearing the envelope open with rabid intensity.
And when they do, what will they find? Next weeks lottery numbers? The fact that World Peace has broken out? A break though in curing AIDS? To be honest, I'd have even accepted, Mr and Mrs Daker are expecting a baby - at least that would have been exciting, if only to them.
No, you get this.
So what was so exciting? That required it's own envelope and my undivided attention?
The offer of a FREE Market Appraisal! (Their font and punctuation, I hasten to add.)
And for that, YOU HAVE PISSED ME OFF, YOU BASTARD.