YOU PISSED ME OFF, YOU BASTARD

I'm one of the lucky ones. Life on the whole has been and continues to be good to me. I get up every morning, happy. More often than not, with a smile on my face. I really do. But then some bastard goes and fucking ruins it. Well, here they are. Bastards, every last one of them.

Thursday

priceless, fucking priceless

It was early Sunday. I was in Marylebone High Street waiting for the famers market to get going - what can I say, I live in a middle-class ...

Wednesday

tell me something I don't know

Is it just me? Well, maybe, but considering the votes of confidence and the number of hits I get, it would suggest not, so I'm going to ...

Sunday

litter lout

Got stuck behind this bastard the other day. Now I don't think I've ever been in a Renault, but I'm sure it's like every mod...

Monday

EXCITING NEWS MY ARSE

I could fill this whole blog with the crap that comes through my door, but I just save the really great oneS. Like this, from those wonderfu...

Saturday

POSH RESTAURANT. ARROGANT STAFF. STUPID RULE

Yauatcha, a rather swanky restaurant that serves up fine Chinese food at a price. Not that I'm complaining, I know what they charge and...

Thursday

Don't let the bastards get you down

If I didn't blog here, this would be me

Tuesday

RUBBISH SUSHI

I like sushi. It's a great meal. So, well done Japan, I salute you. Not so Samurai, a small chain of fast food sushi restaurants. Let...

Friday

SMOKING IS NOT VERY NICE

I don't smoke. Never have, not really. I do remember a time when I found myself behind a bike shed or somewhere and being told this whit...

Monday

Why?

Got this in my inbox today (do click on it to enlarge it). Begs the question, why? Why me? I just don't understand. Nothing about me, my...

Tuesday

YOU MAY BE PC, BUT ETHICAL?

That's a lovely ad isn't it? All nicely laid out to tell you about those fantastic offers and savings. And I like an offer me, so La...

Friday

greedy, stupid, optometrist

Greedy and stupid is Adam Simmonds. He sells swanky glasses and expensive contact lenses to yummie mummies and their city hubbies in Primro...

Wednesday

Covent Garden's crappiest shop

Simple enough story. I bought a jacket here. Well, it was the sales and all that and it has been cold lately. Oh, how lovely they were, I co...

Monday

crap dentist

Nice shiny plaque so he must be good, right? Wrong. I dropped about three and half grand with Tim Morris, dentist to the fucking mugs of ...

Tuesday

an email from a reader

Got sent this from one of you, thanks Jon I wholeheartedly agree with this behaviour. When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you j...

Sunday

MY BIKE

Like my bike? Yeah, that's right, some cheeky fucker has nicked it. (Could it be that the tosser who nicked the bike caps came back for...

TAKING THE O OUT OF COUNTRYSIDE

I'm not a fan of the countryside. It's okay to visit, for a few days, 5 at tops. But let's be honest, anymore and you might as w...

IT'S A CRAP JOB BUT USE YOUR BRAIN, PLEASE

I appreciate it's a crap job. I appreciate there's no career path. I appreciate that you're bored. I appreciate you're real...

TWO WHEELS GOOD. FOUR WHEELS BAD

Despite a huge increase in the number of mopeds and motorbikes in the centre of London since the introduction of the congestion charge, the ...

Friday

Me meme (see what I did there, websters?)

Look, before you start reading this, let's be clear about something. This is your doing. No less than three of you have tagged me to do ...

Wednesday

A LETTER TO MY SPV MOBILE PHONE

I hate you. Seriously, I really hate you. Please don't misunderstand me, I. FUCKING. HATE. YOU! I hate so much about you. It's why y...

VIRGIN AIRLINES

Saw this on Sunday in a colour suppliment. No idea why I read it, but read it I did. (Probably something to do with that crazy interest rate...

ITEM NO.27 ON THE LIST

I've just been invited to a wedding. I want to tell you their names, give you their mobile numbers and their email addresses, but I can...

OH ME? I'M WAY TOO COOL FOR SKOOL

What a wanker. I once knew this guy (no, not Tim Westwood ) and he use to boast, I'm a racist when It comes to music. I only like black ...

CARLUCCIOS RESTAURANT

I had some time to kill So I thought, 'Hmmm, coffee' . And off I went to Carluccios, Ealing branch, opposite the green. Sipping sai...

I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST DUST COVERS, BUT

Some books seem to me to be better without them. Like cookery books. Like the one above. But this post isn't about cookery books or dust...

LITTER LOUT

There use to be a time when people were content to just throw their rubbish on the street. Them were the good old days, my friends. Now, the...

Tuesday

HAVING A SMALL PENIS DOESN'T MAKE YOU HANDICAPPED

KEO5 TXG. YOU PISS ME OFF YOU BASTARD. YOU PISS ME OFF YOU BASTARD. YOU PISS ME OFF YOU BASTARD. YOU PISS ME OFF YOU BASTARD. YOU PISS ME OF...

DIRECT MAIL GONE MAD

Got this is the post today. Well, I didn't, it was addressed to my 4 year old son, but he's only 4 and can't read, so I opened i...

MASTER CRIMINAL AT WORK

These here are the wheels of my bike. Front and back. And if you look carefully you'll no doubt notice they're sans dust caps. That...

20% OFF AT AMAZON, LITERALLY

Ordered the above book from Amazon the other week and it was delivered today in this state. Now, I've used Amazon for ages, so I know th...

Monday

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

Is there really any point in me saying anything? Other than, YOU PISS ME OFF YOU IGNORANT BASTARD.

SPAMMERS

Obvious, yes. But no less fucking annoying for it. I've never bothered to read these before, but today I did. I know it's meant for ...

SAYS IT ALL

I've been laid low, so not much has pissed me off other than fucking germs, actually there was a commercial, but I wanna get a shot of i...

Tuesday

THERE IS A BETTER WAY AND IT'S CALLED GOING TO ANOTHER BANK

I've just started a business and so needed to open a bank account. One of the easier tasks, or so I thought and off I went to NatWest. W...

IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY?

There I was visiting a bookshop just to look and touch the books really I know it makes odd but I find the whole experience so much nicer th...

Friday

A REQUEST

Explaining what this blog was about to the lovely Rebecca today, she said can I recommend something. What! I'm taking requests now? Do I...

FUCKING KEYS

I wasn't sure whether or not I should post this one, after all keys are an inanimate object (or should that be inanimate objects?), but ...

A WASTE OF TIME

Just spend a moment to read what this arse writes on his card, If your bike needs a service and you don't have time to go to the garage ...

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE COIN

When I was growing up, and it wasn't that long ago, parks and pushbikes went rather well together, after all it made a lot of sense, the...

THE CROOKS OF WESTMINSTER COUNCIL

I reckon that somewhere deep in the bowels of Westminster Council there is an office where dark thoughts are allowed to be voiced in the nam...

OI, YOU IN THE NASTY BLUE GOLF

I ride around London on a bike a lot of the time and if I'm not careful I could fill pages and pages of this blog with road incidents, b...

A MESSAGE TO A BUS DRIVER

Dear Sir I dare say that driving around London all day having to stop for people who then don't have the right money can be grating. Wha...

THE LAW

It was raining, not that that bothers me, I like the rain, it suits London. Anyway I didn't have an umbrella so I was sheltering in a sh...

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ANGRYMAN

AngryMan: I live amongst you. I might have sat next to you on the bus this morning. I might have been behind you when you queued for coffee this morning. I might even be your neighbour.

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